SSA = Purgatory

December 18, 2006

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Well it is official. I have officially changed my name. I kind of delayed on the process after I got married, just so I could have my maiden name a little bit longer. To change your name legally though, there are two places that you need to go to. Both of these places involved long lines and having to deal with government workers. Woohoo! What a fun way to spend a day off.

I knew there would be trouble when I pulled into the parking lot of the Social Security office and there was not a single spot in the whole lot, and I had to park almost a block away. I walk in, and the security guard greets me and asks me to punch in a number into a little computer, which then prints out a ticket to tell me what my number is in line. A172 was my number. I couldn’t decide if that was a bad thing or not. I soon came to find out it was an awful thing.

The SSA waiting room was four white walls, and about 150 chairs set up like a conference. They were all facing the same way in rows of ten. Anyway, I look around the corner to see if there was a TV or something that the chairs were facing and no, there wasn’t anything but a white wall. So, I sit down in the last row where there are only two seats left and proceed to stare at the blank wall waiting for my number to be called. “A100 please report to counter D.” Ohhh no, they are only at 100? More waiting, “Number 23 please report to counter 14.” Wait a minute, how did you go back 77 people, and now you have numbered counters and lettered counters. What is going on here? So, I look at the person behind me, and say, “I’m confused, when will it be my turn, do you think? How long have you been waiting?” The man looks at me with a huge grin on his face and says,
“Never been here before, I take it?”
“No, why”
He replies, “well, people are here for different reasons, there are people who need to collect benefits, and people who just need a card, and people who have appointments and interviews. The number on your ticket corresponds to what you are here for. You might be here a long time because if a person has an appointment they go ahead of you, and then people who are picking up money just have to pick up a check so they go before you.”
“WHAT?!?!? I have to be home for the freezer guy at noon! Shouldn’t they have a sign somewhere on the wall explaining their system, I mean sheesh they have enough space on the four empty walls in here.”
“A112 report to window C.”

I was not a happy woman. So we are waiting, and I as I am I cannot help but feel a little strange in this boxlike room. Why are we forced to stare at a white wall, and everyone was VERY quiet. No one really talked at all, it was like they didn’t want to get caught talking either. These people had been waiting forever it seemed like, and they didn’t want to miss their number being called. Then, as more numbers began to get called, I noticed that these people went around a corner and then you never saw them again. They never came back through the waiting room to exit the building. I kept thinking, where did they go?

Then, I had a sudden flashback of Catholic Grammar School, and the nun who taught religion telling us that Purgatory was like a giant waiting room, where you were waiting to go to heaven. I am in Purgatory. How did I get here? It all made sense though. White blank walls, tons of people, all the chairs, the silence and anticipation of numbers being called, and the fact that people never came back to the waiting room. Why would God make Purgatory so much like the SSA office? Aren’t there nicer waiting rooms than this. When I was a kid my dentist had a pretty nice waiting room. He had a special little table for me to color pictures at. What about that waiting room? What about the time I had to wait in a waiting area at Ikea to pick up some furniture, they had big cushy couches and coffee tables, and TV’s and a cappuccino station. I really hope God has more of that kind of waiting room in mind. And where did those people go?

So, after two hours, my number is called. “A172, please report to window F.” It was kind of ironic that I was called to window F as after about 1 ½ of waiting because I started to say the F word a lot silently in my head. When I got to the window, I said, “I am here because I got married…” and before I could even say anymore the woman behind the counter said, “Just give me all your paperwork that you brought with you!” I hope that the people who run Purgatory are friendlier than you, lady! Since this woman made it clear there was to be no talking, I tried to look behind her into the room filled with rows and rows of file cabinets and boxes of forms and papers, and I thought I wonder if that is all the paper work on the souls that come through this place. Wait a minute, I’m not actually in Purgatory!

Anyway, the woman finished changing my name and sent me on my way, and I asked the woman behind the counter if there was another exit and here’s the weird part, she said no. So, I walked in the way I came, through the waiting room. But where did all those other people go? This would have been a good story for the Twilight Zone.

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*Note: I could have written an entire blog on the show Carmen San Diego because I loved this show, but I didn’t want to bore my loyal readers.

I don’t know if you know this… but my Dad was a cheap cheap man. Growing up, there were a lot of things that my siblings and I were deprived of. Don’t get me wrong I loved my Dad, in fact it has been rumored that I was his favorite. And don’t feel too sorry for me, because we always had clothes and food and all of that, but there are some parts of pop culture that my siblings and I know nothing about because we missed out.

For example, cable TV. We grew up without even basic cable, which when all your friends are watching MTV, Nickelodeon, and Disney Channel, you kind of feel left out. I remember kids at school talking about Clarissa Explains it All, Camp Walla Walla, Double Dare, Yo! MTV Raps, and The Real World. I never had any idea what they were talking about. The kids at school used to think I was a freak because I didn’t have cable, and they never wanted to stay over at my house, I can’t say that I blame them, I mean if I was used to cable, I wouldn’t want to watch educational shows either. I remember my friend, Amy, buying me the Double Dare board game for my 8th birthday, and I thought, “what the hell is this?”

My afternoons were spent watching Square One or Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego? on your window to the world WTTW Chicago, our local PBS station. I’m sure some of you didn’t even know that a computer game could be a show. Well, it was, and it was AWESOME! I would say that Carmen San Diego is the sole reason why I used to get so far in the Geography Bee every year. I totally schooled everyone on the countries and capitals. “Santiago is the capital of Chile, biotch!” The worst part of that show was the final round and the kid playing would get the USA and have to identify 7 states. My brother, Kevin, and I would be screaming at the TV, “Utah is in the west, WEST you idiot! How can you screw up the USA! HOW? You’re a Mormon for cryin’ out loud how can you not know where Utah is?” Cable television was a rare treat when we’d stay at a hotel, go to Grandma’s house, or to our friends’ houses. I did not have cable TV of my own until I was in college, and because I was not exposed to it as a child, there were entire days I would spend in front of the television amazed at the clear picture and wide variety of channels.

Another thing we didn’t have growing up was a VHS VCR. No, my dad thought that BETACORD was going to be the way of the future. He was wrong. When everyone was getting VHS machines, we started to go into kind of a panic because all of the video rental places were starting to not carry BETA anymore. We had to drive to Chicago Heights to this little hole in the wall place called R&R Video. The choices for movies were starting to get slim too. We would end up renting movies we’d seen a million times because they wouldn’t have the new releases in BETA. I remember my Dad looking defeated when he FINALLY had to bite the bullet and get a VHS. He just kept saying, “But BETA is better quality.” About two years later DVD players started to become the norm. Poor guy…

Microwave. Even my grandma had a microwave before we did. Granted, anytime she turned it on she would run into another room for fear of the radioactive waves might come and get her, but still she had one. We didn’t get one forever! We actually boiled water for mac and cheese on the stove. We also did things like heat leftovers in the oven. This was another thing my friends growing up could never understand. I know a microwave is not needed, but even now that I do a ton of cooking from scratch, I use the microwave for melting butter or chocolate or to heat leftovers. I am still unsure of the reasoning behind never having one. Again, this was something I didn’t have until I went away to school. My family is still not used to having them. I have caught my siblings doing something that could easily be done in their microwave, but they don’t even think to use it. We don’t even have the right lingo down… most people when they want to heat something up quick they’ll say, “We’ll nuke it?” My family is always saying, “oh if you want to heat up the pizza just mic (pronounced mike) it.” Again another part of pop culture that we were never exposed to.

Telephone technology. I’m going to lump two things together here, call waiting and an answering machine. My Dad didn’t give in and get call waiting until it was made available automatically on every land line phone in the world. Even then, he was still skeptical of this new fangled technology. I never understood what is problem with call waiting was. I mean there were days he’d be stuck at work without a ride home and couldn’t get a hold of anyone because we were all on the phone. You’d think he’d want call waiting to be able to get through. My husband often gets mad at me for not picking up the call waiting when I’m on the phone, but I guess it is something I’m still not used to. My Mom still never picks it up. The whole answering machine was bearable in junior high, but in high school I got a little frustrated. This was before cell phones so answering machines were key. I remember friends saying, “I’ll just leave you a message of where we are going to be, ok?” Uhhh, no, I guess I cannot go, because no one will be home to get the phone call so I will never know where you are. I don’t want to spend my Friday night driving around Chicago Southland looking for you. Were answering machines even that expensive?

In short, I’ve learned that there are definitely things that I could live without. I mean I don’t NEED cable, a VHS, a microwave, call waiting, or an answering machine. I just would like to know HOW much money was saved. Was it thousands, or was it more like a few bucks here and there, because I really feel that even as an adult there are conversations I cannot even contribute to, because I do not know where Camp Walla Walla was or how long it take to boil water in a microwave. I guess I’ll have to go mic a bowl of water to find out, while I watch Carmen San Diego after school today.

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For those of you who actually watch the news, you will know about the snowstorm that was sweeping up from Dallas all the way north to the Chicagoland area. Forecasters have been talking about this storm for almost a week predicting anywhere from two inches to three stories of snow. The North Side had quite a bit of snow accumulation, but here on the South Side, it was more of an ice storm. Because of the hazardous road conditions, though, many schools were cancelled, including mine! I haven’t had a SNOW DAY since I was a senior in high school, and let me tell you; so far it has been an awesome day. After I received the celebrated phone call from my school, telling me I didn’t have to go into school, I had a cup of hot cocoa, and then immediately went back to bed. I didn’t wake up that long ago actually. WOOHOO! Thank God for Snow Days, or in this case, an Ice Day.

There are some of you out there though, who I’m sorry today were not able to share in the fun, my husband included. My husband is the Tech Director at a high school, that is more concerned with appearances, than the possible deaths of it students. Almost every school in our area was closed today, except for his. He had been praying for days that he would have today off, and I felt so bad when he woke up at 10 minutes to 5:00 A.M. to begin waiting for “the call,” or the glorious words flashing across the bottom of the news screen saying his school would be closed. Instead, he received a call from the principal at 10 minutes after 6:00 A.M. to say that school was indeed still open, and could he post that information on the web site. Needless to say, he was a little pissed. I think the main reason for his anger was that not only had every other school in our area had been closed, but he works at a Catholic High School, which means two things. The principal is a nun who lives in the convent attached to the school, and that his school has really no transportation for it students to speak of. Because of the lack of transportation, most of these kids, have to rely on themselves to get to school, which means teenage driving.

Let me start off by saying, that I used to be employed at the school where my husband works, and there are two reasons why I left. One because I came to find out that nuns are selfish, and number two because nuns are selfish. It is kind of ironic that the nuns, or the penguins, as I like to refer to them (due to their black and white habits) kept my husband’s school open, when all they had to do to get to work was throw on a sweater over their penguin outfit and walk about 100 feet to their classroom. Forgetting, that most people have to drive to work. Some of these women, I am convinced have not had to drive a car, since they entered the convent, which for some of them means the Roaring 20’s when they used to take their car out to see a “talkie.” The only driving that some of these nuns do, is they hop on their little motor hover round scooter to “drive” their asses about 250 yards from their bed. Because walking down the hall to Math Class, THAT is just “too far.” What did they do, look out their window, see the English Department and say, “Well there’s no snow in the hallway, or on the desks… time to head to work!” Ridiculous!

Now, onto the teenage driving. I’m sorry, but I am deathly afraid to drive as it is, but teenagers who drive scare the crap out of me. There is not a week that goes by where my husband doesn’t come home from work and report of another accident in the parking lot of his school. The parking lot, people, the parking lot. If they are crashing into each other in the parking, what do you think they are going to do out on the black iced roads? Damn kids, listening to their rap music, texting their friends, and not paying attention. Do you think that is going to get any better when they are on the ice skating rink that used to be known as the roads? Did this principal even realize how many accidents could result because of this decision? Not to mention the fact that it was a half day of school today, by the time the kid got to school after sitting in traffic and driving carefully in the snow, they would have to turn their ass around and drive the three hours back home.

My husband was so pissed about the situation, in fact, that he called in sick, with about 50 other teachers from his school that were afraid to make the trek in from work. Some of these faculty members have over an hour commute to get to work as it is. Long story short, the penguins don’t understand the concept of a commute. I feel so bad for the kids that had to go in today.

I would also like to send my condolences to the other schools that didn’t get closed today. We’ll keep praying for you that you will get a Snow Day at some time this winter. Keep on keepin’ on until then.

Grocery Stores: Part I

November 29, 2006

Let me just preface this all by saying, I love grocery stores, grocery shopping, and anything to do with groceries. I don’t know where my fascination with grocery stores began, because as a kid going grocery shopping was never a real fun event. Granted I do have fond memories of spending that time with my parents and my brother Kevin, but still, it was a hassle. Especially when you would do it the way my family did.

Growing up in a large family, I think that you tend to take grocery shopping a little more seriously, just because of the amount of food that needs to be purchased. My family used to do one HUGE shopping trip a week, where massive amounts of food were purchased. It was always amazing to me that all that food would only last us one week! I can remember my siblings not ever wanting to go to the grocery store with my parents, but for some reason my brother, Kevin, and I always were the ones that got suckered into going Cub Foods with my parents. Brian and Beth always had “better things to do.”

Now, for you non-Chicagoans out there, Cub Foods was kind of like a Sam’s Club meets your local grocery store chain. It was a huge store, it actually kind of looked like a food warehouse, and it had the added feature, of bagging your own crap. This helped to keep the prices down, so of course, my Dad being a little on the frugal side (by frugal I mean cheap), loved Cub Foods. One of the other downsides to shopping at Cub Foods was that the nearest one was about a half hour away from our house. Which now, as an adult, I think, don’t you spend more money in gas to get to the store than you would going somewhere near your house where you would pay just a few cents more for bread? Doesn’t it all even out in the end?

Anyway, my parents, Kevin and I would pile in the car and off to Calumet City just so Dad could save a few bucks. You’d get to Cubs, and my parents would each grab a cart, and divide and conquer. My Dad would always drag Kevin and I with him because he had a “Grocery Shopping System.” He would stand in an aisle, with his “Coupon Caddy” and sort through coupons. Now my Dad’s “Coupon Caddy” was a large brown cardboard accordion folder, which he put envelopes of coupons in sorted by type of food. There was a cereal envelope, a soup envelope, and so on. If he came across a coupon of something he thought someone in the house might eat, he would send Kevin or I to go fetch it. It would not matter that the item was about 10 aisles over, and he needed 12 of the particular item. He would always hand you the coupon because he didn’t trust us to remember what we were looking for, and he would keep the cart. This never made sense to me because we were the ones who actually needed the cart. I still think he just kept the cart so he has something to balance his Coupon Caddy. Anyway, you would go find what he wanted and then while you were looking for it, he would move to another location of the store. So, Kevin and I would walk, all the way across the store to bring back 12 boxes of Cheerios to Dad, who by this point had moved the cart to the cookie aisle. Grrrr! This would go on for maybe an hour or so, depending on how much food we needed. Meanwhile, my Mom was more in charge of the produce/meat/dairy sections of the grocery store. Since she was the one who was in charge of dinner (Dad couldn’t make toast correctly), she would buy all the fresh items to make dinners. After all the food was bought, we would all meet up at the cash register. And here comes the WORST part of the whole experience.

As I mentioned earlier, Cubs had a “Bag Your Own Crap” policy. So, because Dad was still busy sorting coupons and starting to fill out the checkbook, and Mom was busy unloading the cart, guess who got stuck bagging the crap? That’s right, Kevin and I again. Plus you’d have to bag at warp speed because there is a line of about a million other people behind you and they get pissed when the 8 and 12 year olds would be bagging “too slow.” Not to mention, the 16-year-old, gum chewing, side ponytail wearing idiot check out girl is whipping food at you so hard you’d think she was going for the Cy Young award.

Which brings us back to the car to unload the groceries out of the cart, and put them into the car. Another half hour ride home, and now it is time to unload the car, and put the crap all away. Which by the way was always an adventure in itself. My Mom would start putting groceries away, and realize that she did not have enough room for all of the things she just bought, so she’d be pushing Kevin and I to eat the half empty boxes of cookies and drink quarter full gallons of milk to make room for the new stuff. “Here kids finish this milk so we have room in the fridge.” WHAT?!?!? Why did you buy milk if we didn’t need it, woman!

As we got older, my parents wised up and started shopping at Walt’s Food Center, in a suburb much closer to home, where they would bag the groceries for you. It was like shopping in luxury when we went to Walt’s. Kevin and I could read magazines while someone else had to do the bagging. Although, my Dad still has his Coupon Caddy and we still had to fetch the food, at least we got a break on the bagging.

Even though as a kid going to the grocery store was an extremely chaotic experience, and the fact that it was an all day event, I still enjoy going to this day. I just know better than to go to Cub Foods or anywhere that has the audacity to ask you to bag your own crap.

Merry Crap On Your Lawn!!

November 28, 2006

‘Tis the season for love, sharing, celebration, and of course for putting a whole bunch of crazy crap on your lawn! It doesn’t matter the size of your lawn, or in fact you don’t even have to have a lawn. If you live in a condo or apartment, go ahead and crap up your balcony. ‘Tis the season after all!

My husband and I have been taking particular notice to all the Holiday decorations in our neighborhood. Maybe it is because it is our first Christmas as a married couple, and we are thinking of ideas for how to decorate our new house, maybe it is because we are really trying to get into the Holiday spirit, or maybe it is because there are some particularly interesting houses in our neighborhood. Some of these homes look like a Christmas Superstore had a crazy night out drinking and vomited all of its contents on these peoples’ lawns.

There are two houses about two blocks away, which decided to combine their forces and become the Lawn Ornament Brain Trust. They are two houses right next door two each other, whose lawns together are about 300 square feet. On these two lawns, there is every possible Holiday Season lawn ornament possible. Including the 15 foot Frosty, Santa, Homer dressed as Santa, and Rudolf blow up figures. Not to mention the hundreds of plastic light up crap that accompanies it. Instead of playing “Where’s Waldo?” I like to play “Where’s Jesus?” Because inevitably there is always a light up Nativity scene in the middle of all this crap. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are Frosty, Santa, and Homer supposed to be the Three Wise Men? Is Rudolph really supposed to be a sheep? And what about the litany of toy soldiers, penguins, candy canes, and Disney characters? Were they all there when Jesus was born too? I don’t remember hearing anything about Mickey and Goofy in a Santa hat being there, but hey you would know better than me, right? My other question is how do you afford your electricity bill?

Down the street there is a subdivision of town homes, which don’t really have any lawn space, but they have small balconies. One of the balconies is so lit up; it looks like the Vegas Strip. There are these snowflakes that are HUGE all lit up, and they are blinking as if to look like they are falling from the sky. However, they are blinking so rapidly, I feel like I’m going to have a seizure every time I drive by there. How do you people sleep at night with that blinking outside your window every night? If you are wondering why your neighbor won’t talk to you, maybe it is because he hasn’t slept since you put up those snowflake lights around Labor Day. After all, it snows in late August!

The people with the most stuff on their lawns are always the people that start putting it up when it is still warm enough to go swimming. I guess you’d have to start that early when you have THAT much stuff. I’m assuming it would take months to put it all out. What is your deal people? Do you have that much time on your hands? And isn’t Christmas Day a little anti climatic when you’ve been putting up decorations for three months or more? I mean Christmas Day must be the worst day of the year for you people, because in about a week you have to start taking it all down again. Or for you special few out there, you’re above social etiquette, and are too lazy to take it all down, so you leave your holiday-cheer-vomit all over your lawn for the rest of the year. Your children use Frosty as their first base marker during summer whiffle ball games. In the spring you put bunny ears on your army of lawn ornament characters to celebrate Easter.

I even remember as a kid driving by houses and asking my Mom why all the mangers in all the lawn ornament Nativity scenes were missing. “Did someone steal them?” I asked. “No sweetie,” Mom replied, “some people only put Jesus in the manger on Christmas Day to signify he was born.” Now, as an adult, seeing all these ridiculous holiday decorations on people’s lawns I cannot help but think to myself, “What you’re saying is, you’ll put out every piece of light up plastic that remotely looks like anything to do with Christmas, and you won’t put the baby Jesus in the manger until Christmas Day?” That makes sense.

Grand Opening = Insanity

November 17, 2006

I have heard stories about Grand Openings, sample sales, trunk shows, and store closeouts. Once as a teenager, I even went to a After Christmas Sale at Marshall Fields with my sister, Beth. I found out then that I am not cut out for such rushed, chaotic shopping. A good indication of this was when everyone was pushing through the doors and man handling other people, I held the door for everyone. After all, it would be rude to push a complete stranger out of the way. Beth, I think, thought I had gotten trampled. Since, that incident, I swore I would never participate in such a fiasco again. Don’t get me wrong, I do like the hustle and bustle of Christmas, and I love a good sale, but I try to shop on off times of the day, just so that I don’t have to get in a wrestling match over a $10 sweater that I can get at another Gap location.

This morning, I became a victim again. The new Ulta had its grand opening today. Now, normally, I would not go ANYWHERE near a grand opening of a store, but my logic said, “Erin, it’s a Friday morning, everyone is at work. You’ll be safe.” Stupid, Logic, I will never listen to you again.

For those of you who have no experience with an Ulta, it is basically a make up and beauty supply super store. I like it especially because it carries a line of make up that is not carried in any other store within a 30 mile radius of my house. I needed a refill on my powder, so I woke up early and as part of my errands, I was going to drop by Ulta, pick it up, and hey maybe get a free gift or something. I pull into the parking lot, and see a ton of cars. I was a little worried but that is when Logic opened her mouth again. “Erin, there is a Dick’s Sporting Goods over there, and a Target not that far away. All these cars are not for Ulta” Logic, that is Strike TWO.

I walk into the store, and a sales associate greets me with chocolate. “Ma’am would you like some chocolate while you shop?” I respond hesitantly, “Ummm, no thanks, it’s a little early.” I walk passed her and I see the highest concentration of soccer moms I’ve ever seen in one place. It was like the state junior league soccer championship tournament in this place. On top of it, Ulta was apparently giving away not just cute little gift bags, no. They were giving away, free samples, free eye brow waxing, free make up application, and apparently more free chocolate. Which, by the way, when you are with a group of middle aged woman and you have piles of free things, I don’t think feeding their fury with sugar and caffeine loaded chocolate is a smart idea. Good for sales, bad for innocent bystanders.

As I walk to the section where I had to pick up what I needed, I’m already thinking, this is a bad idea. Then Logic speaks up for a third time, “Erin, if you leave here, you’ll just have to ride out to Orland to get what you need, and that is 20 minutes away. By the time you get there and get back, you could be out of this store with what you need.” Logic, no offense, but I hate you.

So, I stayed. I get in line, and I feel like I am at the end of the line to see Santa in the movie A Christmas Story. I cannot even see where the front of the line is. Not only that, but the women in line around me are talking about all the free stuff they have gotten already. The woman in line in front of me, whose eyebrows were red and swollen, after no doubt her free eyebrow waxing was explaining to me what a wonderful deal she got on her Pantene Pro V conditioner. I wanted to tell her that there was a Target next door, but figured, after her eyebrow waxing and pound of chocolate she has probably eaten it wasn’t the wisest idea. The woman behind me, was a little on the older side, and I was thinking, she’s going to never make it to the cash register. I hope I remember my CPR training just in case. I wanted to leave, but I decided to tough it out. After all, I’ve come this far, and there was word that there were gift bags at the counter.

I get to the cash register after waiting in line for over an hour, and the sales associate checks me out. As she is putting everything in my bag, I say to her, “So, what’s the free gift?” and she replies to me, “Ma’am, you only get a free gift if you have coupon from the newspaper.”

WHAT?!?! That is the last time I go to a Grand Opening, and definitely the last time I listen to you, Logic.

What’s the deal with email?

November 16, 2006

I will be the first to admit. I LOVE EMAIL!! I truly do. I have found it so convenient for keeping in touch with people, answering questions, sending photos and files. I guess this blog should be entitled, “What is the deal with annoying email users?” because I am starting to get a little ticked off more at the people who send useless emails than email itself.

First off, I use email basically for four reasons: to ask/answer a quick question about work, make plans, to keep in touch with friends and family, or to talk with someone during the work day who does not have AIM. What I do not use is for is to fill my otherwise extremely hectic day with random conversation, depressing news, or religious conversion. When someone emails me to ask a question, I try to find the answer, and respond in a prompt way. For some people, my prompt response is interpreted as an invitation to open the floodgates of random questions, stupid forwards, and pictures of people I do not know. Why people? Why? Because I got back to you, this means I’m sitting in front of my computer so it is ok to send me your litany of crap.

I wish there was some rule book for what constitutes an email. I also wish that you had to get a license to be a person that comes up with forwards. I’m sorry, but God isn’t going to strike me down because I failed to forward back the breast cancer lady, the Jesus Loves You power point, or the prayer. God knows I love him, and damnit, you should know too if you even have my email address in the first place!

I understand that you could make the argument, well just don’t read it then, or delete it. I get that, and believe me I do delete them, but what about certain people who just don’t let it go? For example what about you people who make comments about my emailing back ability? “She hasn’t gotten back to me.” “Do you think she’s mad at me?” Asking me in a one liner email, after I have answered a thousand of your questions already (which by the way were all sent in separate emails as well,) “Is it weird that I ate soup for lunch when I had it last night for dinner?” and then following it up with a couple of forwards is a little much don’t you think? Do you expect me to respond? I honestly don’t know. Tell me. Is it rude to keep it to a couple of emails a day? Do you really need to know if I think it is weird that you ate soup? Plus, I really don’t have all of the facts about your soup either. Did you go out for dinner last night? What kind of soup was it? Did you have the same kind of soup both times?

God did not put me on this earth to answer all your damn questions, or to respond to forwards all day. I’m sorry that you are bored at work today, but join FACEBOOK, play BEJEWELED, start a blog, just please stop emailing me forwards or a thousand questions in separate emails. You can write as much as you want in one email, and I will get back to you as soon as you stop being an idiot.